During my visit to California, like the true spook that I aspire to be, I did a bit of snooping around. What I uncovered may shock you. For the first time in print here is a list of private secrets of the "Merrill Clan".
- Greg Porter carries a purse.
- Tim Lyons wishes he was Ben Folds.
- Alan Andrus is still just a deacon.
- Daenen showers in swim trunks.
- Jeff Hill carries an umbrella in the sun.
- Matt Coombs uses the "N" word.
- Kieth goes "commando" regularly.
- Dagen thinks he can kill a yak from 200 yards away with mind bullets.
- Kaela believes she was a kaola bear in the pre-existence.
- Kamee chews "ABC" gum.
- Kahna designed and wears leopard-print garments.
- Kapree wears velcro shoes, because she never learned to tie a bow.
- Keri cannot control the tone or pitch of her voice.
- Dagney believes in the Easter Bunny.
- Alley carries a shoe-horn where ever she goes.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Good ol' U.S. of A.
If you're reading this, thank a teacher. If you're reading this in English, thank a soldier.
Yes that is me. Over in Iraq with the 1st special operations detachment US Army.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Help for Skyelr
Poor little Skyelr needs help. He must be suffering H.P withdrawls and that why he keeps coming up with off the wall theories about the books. Really J.K. wrapped up everything pretty nicely, besides killing off a character that should never have been killed off because she has a huge sense of self importance and has forgotten that these are actually CHILDREN'S stories, and therefore should end happily, anyway as I said things are pretty well wrapped up. But you might like this link to a chat with J.K. Rowling that answers even more questions. And it a real chat. Not one I made up...Skyelr.
http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/2007/7/30/j-k-rowling-web-chat-transcript
Its pretty good. Except for the part where she makes it sound like Snape is batting for both teams. I think she really just didn't pick the right words to describe her point. But its funny never the less.
http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/2007/7/30/j-k-rowling-web-chat-transcript
Its pretty good. Except for the part where she makes it sound like Snape is batting for both teams. I think she really just didn't pick the right words to describe her point. But its funny never the less.
Harry Potter Secrets Revealed
Hermione Granger is actually a house elf! She's been stealing polyjuice potion and human hair in order to pass herself off as a witch so that she could attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This explains her sympathies toward those disgusting little kreachers (pun).
So what do you think? I reckon I could take Mrs. Rowling to school on how to write surprising twists into her stories, huh?
So what do you think? I reckon I could take Mrs. Rowling to school on how to write surprising twists into her stories, huh?
Friday, July 20, 2007
BYU has a no facial hair policy
I awakened this morning in a state of tired stupor. I could barely get out of bed. I just layed there blinking unintelligently up at the ceiling. “Why am I so tired?” I asked myself. But I was too tired to even think about answering myself. Finally, I rolled out of my bed and landed on the floor. “Ouch!” I had bashed my shin on the floor. My shin is in quite a painful state after I banged it pretty good on the side of the pool last night. The pain shooting from my shin through the rest of my body did little to rouse my facilities though, I was still groggy.
Trying to stay awake and focused while I was saying my morning prayers was a joke. I kept dozing off, but then snapping back awake just as my head was about to plop face down on my pillow. “Maybe it’s cause I don’t get to exercise much anymore.” I was trying to pin a reason for my tiredness. Even during my shower I was nearly falling asleep. It was a struggle to stay awake, and I was losing.
I sat trance-like through both of my classes today and tried in vain to engage my mind is some worthwhile thought. My eyes were open and my senses were all working, but by any other standards I could have been asleep. I remember vaguely making some comments in my classes. I can’t remember what responses I got from my peers and teachers but they probably were sniggers. My mind was not anxiously engaged as it should have been. At one point I was suddenly jolted into a brief state of awareness, I made some statement in my Historians Craft class and then my teacher started coming after me. Not coming after me in a physical sense, but he started demanding that I explain myself and try to take my point deeper. I fumbled stupidly with the button of my left shirt pocket. I couldn’t even remember clearly what I had said, how was I supposed to defend and expound upon it? I must’ve said something that made sense, cause he stopped coming after me. Either that, or whatever I said was just so retarded that he decided not to waste anymore time on my bumbling.
After class, I was wandering around zombie-like when from behind I heard a familiar voice, “Is that Skyelr?” I almost didn’t want to turn around. I knew that voice, and there was once a time when I loathed the very sound of it, but now I was just too tired to care. I spun on my heal, “Hey Peterson,” I said “how’re you doing?” It was my old MTC companion. I’ve never really cared too much for the kid, but he makes such an effort to be nice to me that I can’t help but to be quite civil back to him. He introduced my to his wife, and then walked with me toward the library. He got my cell phone number and I got his and then we both continued on toward our various destinations. I don’t know where he was headed, but I had a library assignment to take care of.
Once inside the library, I made a bee-line for the bathroom. I was still in the same sort of dazed funk that I had been in ever since morning. The sound of my urine splashing into the urinal was soothing and reminded me just how tired I was. “I need caffine and I need it now.” I thought to myself as I spun around to wash my hands. The mirror above the sinks showed me the image of a tired, worn-out looking guy. I gazed into the reflection, and admired my barely visible sideburns. “If I just keep letting ‘em grow, someday they’ll look really cool.” With that thought, I left the restroom with my spirits lifted considerably. That, my friends, is the power of sideburns. Even when nothing else is going great, if you have some good sideburns to admire (or any good facial hair for that matter), the whole day just seems better.
Trying to stay awake and focused while I was saying my morning prayers was a joke. I kept dozing off, but then snapping back awake just as my head was about to plop face down on my pillow. “Maybe it’s cause I don’t get to exercise much anymore.” I was trying to pin a reason for my tiredness. Even during my shower I was nearly falling asleep. It was a struggle to stay awake, and I was losing.
I sat trance-like through both of my classes today and tried in vain to engage my mind is some worthwhile thought. My eyes were open and my senses were all working, but by any other standards I could have been asleep. I remember vaguely making some comments in my classes. I can’t remember what responses I got from my peers and teachers but they probably were sniggers. My mind was not anxiously engaged as it should have been. At one point I was suddenly jolted into a brief state of awareness, I made some statement in my Historians Craft class and then my teacher started coming after me. Not coming after me in a physical sense, but he started demanding that I explain myself and try to take my point deeper. I fumbled stupidly with the button of my left shirt pocket. I couldn’t even remember clearly what I had said, how was I supposed to defend and expound upon it? I must’ve said something that made sense, cause he stopped coming after me. Either that, or whatever I said was just so retarded that he decided not to waste anymore time on my bumbling.
After class, I was wandering around zombie-like when from behind I heard a familiar voice, “Is that Skyelr?” I almost didn’t want to turn around. I knew that voice, and there was once a time when I loathed the very sound of it, but now I was just too tired to care. I spun on my heal, “Hey Peterson,” I said “how’re you doing?” It was my old MTC companion. I’ve never really cared too much for the kid, but he makes such an effort to be nice to me that I can’t help but to be quite civil back to him. He introduced my to his wife, and then walked with me toward the library. He got my cell phone number and I got his and then we both continued on toward our various destinations. I don’t know where he was headed, but I had a library assignment to take care of.
Once inside the library, I made a bee-line for the bathroom. I was still in the same sort of dazed funk that I had been in ever since morning. The sound of my urine splashing into the urinal was soothing and reminded me just how tired I was. “I need caffine and I need it now.” I thought to myself as I spun around to wash my hands. The mirror above the sinks showed me the image of a tired, worn-out looking guy. I gazed into the reflection, and admired my barely visible sideburns. “If I just keep letting ‘em grow, someday they’ll look really cool.” With that thought, I left the restroom with my spirits lifted considerably. That, my friends, is the power of sideburns. Even when nothing else is going great, if you have some good sideburns to admire (or any good facial hair for that matter), the whole day just seems better.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Sideburns
I think every guy at some point in his life should have some seriously righteous sideburns like these ones. I bet chicks totally dig 'em. If only I could grow sideburns like those... Chicks would want me, Guys would want to be me.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
hey guys?
what ever happened to this blog? how come no one ever posts anything?
get with the program guys!
get with the program guys!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
they could surrender to us but i wouldn't count on that.
nice one skye. every the pranksters. becareful that no hikers or "prankstee's" are packing heat when you do your little "scare games" or you could get daylight thru you.
i heard you're dating ashley hronick on wednesday? what are you doing?
dad
i heard you're dating ashley hronick on wednesday? what are you doing?
dad
Terror On Y Mountain!
29 June 2007
Love was in the air. It was a Friday night as young BYU couples enjoyed each others company walking hand in hand up the trail to Y mountain. Three men also traveled the path, their objectives sinister. They had a determined resolve as they marched their way into a night of terror.
The plan was a simple one, and had been worked out in moments. At Chris’s suggestion, the three of us had decided to go for a hike under the brilliant full moon. It had been the insidious minds of Kenn and Skyelr who had decided to bring the bear call.
We stalked single file up the path taking care not to attract attention to ourselves. I walked point. My eyes darted to either side of the trail, searching for a place of concealment from which we could spring our surprise. Finally, near a switchback we found an ideal location. The bend was encompassed on both sides by thick bushes and shrubby trees. Off to the side a little, was a small bench that was perfect for a romantic break where lovers could look out across the lights of the valley below.
I raised my hand into a fist over my shoulder, signaling my comrades to hold up. We listened. Nothing. After a quick survey, we decided further that we were alone. Leading the way, I crouched and pushed my way into the foliage on the side of the road. Chris and Kenn followed. We crossed a dry, shallow creek bed and took up position behind some large boulders. We checked the area to make sure we could not be seen from the trail. The last thing we wanted was for some curious kid to shine his light up and spot us after we had issued the low, husky grumble of the bear call.
We had not long to wait before three hapless trekkers found their way into our clutches.
“Hey look, a bench!” one of the hikers exclaimed in a distinctly female voice.
We heard them approach. Once they were where we desired them, we let out the first rumbling growl.
“Was that your butt?” a second female voice asked.
“No.” came a man’s reply.
“Was it your butt?” she questioned the second girl.
Just as the second girl began to deny, we pulled the string and issued a second, much longer, deeper growl. With a few mumbled words the threesome turned around and headed straight back down the trail.
Kenn, and Chris, and I laughed quietly and gave each other the thumbs up. Our first attempt had been a success.
Being the only one of us in camos, I slinked out of our hide and crept a little closer to the trail to recon. I had not been in my new position long before a second opportunity, a dating couple, came ambling down the trail.
I tossed a small pebble back at Chris to signal him to start the charade. Behind me, Kenn started scratching around in the bushes and snapping a few twigs.
The couple stopped. “Did you hear that?”
Immediately after came the weird, blood curdling howl of our bear call. Without a word, the two of them tore off as fast as they could in a desperate sprint down the trail.
I couldn’t help but to laugh. The scene was priceless. I rolled over, and slithered my way back to my friends. We all had a good chuckle before Chris decided that it was late and that he wanted to head home.
It was a good one!
Love was in the air. It was a Friday night as young BYU couples enjoyed each others company walking hand in hand up the trail to Y mountain. Three men also traveled the path, their objectives sinister. They had a determined resolve as they marched their way into a night of terror.
The plan was a simple one, and had been worked out in moments. At Chris’s suggestion, the three of us had decided to go for a hike under the brilliant full moon. It had been the insidious minds of Kenn and Skyelr who had decided to bring the bear call.
We stalked single file up the path taking care not to attract attention to ourselves. I walked point. My eyes darted to either side of the trail, searching for a place of concealment from which we could spring our surprise. Finally, near a switchback we found an ideal location. The bend was encompassed on both sides by thick bushes and shrubby trees. Off to the side a little, was a small bench that was perfect for a romantic break where lovers could look out across the lights of the valley below.
I raised my hand into a fist over my shoulder, signaling my comrades to hold up. We listened. Nothing. After a quick survey, we decided further that we were alone. Leading the way, I crouched and pushed my way into the foliage on the side of the road. Chris and Kenn followed. We crossed a dry, shallow creek bed and took up position behind some large boulders. We checked the area to make sure we could not be seen from the trail. The last thing we wanted was for some curious kid to shine his light up and spot us after we had issued the low, husky grumble of the bear call.
We had not long to wait before three hapless trekkers found their way into our clutches.
“Hey look, a bench!” one of the hikers exclaimed in a distinctly female voice.
We heard them approach. Once they were where we desired them, we let out the first rumbling growl.
“Was that your butt?” a second female voice asked.
“No.” came a man’s reply.
“Was it your butt?” she questioned the second girl.
Just as the second girl began to deny, we pulled the string and issued a second, much longer, deeper growl. With a few mumbled words the threesome turned around and headed straight back down the trail.
Kenn, and Chris, and I laughed quietly and gave each other the thumbs up. Our first attempt had been a success.
Being the only one of us in camos, I slinked out of our hide and crept a little closer to the trail to recon. I had not been in my new position long before a second opportunity, a dating couple, came ambling down the trail.
I tossed a small pebble back at Chris to signal him to start the charade. Behind me, Kenn started scratching around in the bushes and snapping a few twigs.
The couple stopped. “Did you hear that?”
Immediately after came the weird, blood curdling howl of our bear call. Without a word, the two of them tore off as fast as they could in a desperate sprint down the trail.
I couldn’t help but to laugh. The scene was priceless. I rolled over, and slithered my way back to my friends. We all had a good chuckle before Chris decided that it was late and that he wanted to head home.
It was a good one!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
buying a house today
where would the world be without chuck norris?
mom and i put an offer in on an old mining shack today.it's just up the street from k&d's and i think is the house merrill and kieren didn't like all that much. merrill, it's the house you said seems like a park city "cabin".
the good news is we have a guy coming to do renovations if the deal goes thru and we end up buying. we also have a 1300 square foot guest house on the property that, with new flooring, is pretty nice and self-contained. there's 5 acres of real nice property and we'll cut down some trees in back as merrill suggested so we have a view. we'll also plant grass and water it so we have a field of green to gaze out upon.
daenen just fixed our internet!
audience alliance just bought an office building today right off ponderosa and hwy 50. it's 5 minutes from that house we just put the offer in on.
jamie lee curtis sent me 7 of her children's books today - all autographed to our family using all you kids names. terrific of her. personally i think she has a little crush on your old man. what can i say? chuck norris and i still haven't lost it.
dad
mom and i put an offer in on an old mining shack today.it's just up the street from k&d's and i think is the house merrill and kieren didn't like all that much. merrill, it's the house you said seems like a park city "cabin".
the good news is we have a guy coming to do renovations if the deal goes thru and we end up buying. we also have a 1300 square foot guest house on the property that, with new flooring, is pretty nice and self-contained. there's 5 acres of real nice property and we'll cut down some trees in back as merrill suggested so we have a view. we'll also plant grass and water it so we have a field of green to gaze out upon.
daenen just fixed our internet!
audience alliance just bought an office building today right off ponderosa and hwy 50. it's 5 minutes from that house we just put the offer in on.
jamie lee curtis sent me 7 of her children's books today - all autographed to our family using all you kids names. terrific of her. personally i think she has a little crush on your old man. what can i say? chuck norris and i still haven't lost it.
dad
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Holy Spirit, or Avenging Angel?
Angels sang out in an immaculate chorus,
When down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris.
Friday, June 22, 2007
i miss my assault rifles
i am incredibly relieved to think there are skyelr's in the world who travel the skyways protecting us from the filthy hun who would destory all we hold dear. it's time we started a jihad of our own - facing down our enemies no matter where they run to seek political asylum. whichever country they slink off to we give 30 days for that country to rid themselves of our enemies or we begin blitzkreeg bombing with surgical precision. we "reagan" them into submission.
skye, looking at this photo of you made me laugh. your biceps are awesome! it also makes me miss my assault rifles. we must overthrow this evil california government and reinstate our constitutional right! power to the right people!
mom and i are running out in a few mins with the real estate agent. this morning we're looking out in cool - kind of far out but so far we haven't found anything in shingle springs, placerville or cameron park so we venture further afield.
we had dinner with merrill last night - it was so great to see her. sunday is merrill's birthday so all you sibs make note and tell your sis you love her. it's time to play the "merrill game".
does hunter have this blog?
i'm sure proud of you kids and love you all,
super dad
skye, looking at this photo of you made me laugh. your biceps are awesome! it also makes me miss my assault rifles. we must overthrow this evil california government and reinstate our constitutional right! power to the right people!
mom and i are running out in a few mins with the real estate agent. this morning we're looking out in cool - kind of far out but so far we haven't found anything in shingle springs, placerville or cameron park so we venture further afield.
we had dinner with merrill last night - it was so great to see her. sunday is merrill's birthday so all you sibs make note and tell your sis you love her. it's time to play the "merrill game".
does hunter have this blog?
i'm sure proud of you kids and love you all,
super dad
Sunday, June 17, 2007
make sure hunter gets this blog
kieren,
can you please make sure hunter gets this blog?
happy father's day!
oh no wait - you're supposed to call and tell me that.
love,
dad
can you please make sure hunter gets this blog?
happy father's day!
oh no wait - you're supposed to call and tell me that.
love,
dad
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Friendships
I'm friends with everybody on this blog. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start making rude ethnic slurs and savagely insulting people with terms such as "brazen hussy", and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.
i love this kier!
hey kier,
i love this blog thing you've done.
you must have some time on your hands?
we're at k & d's now...they are in costa rica so we are having all the floors ripped out and shag carpet installed to surprise them when they get home.
hey - check out on youtube the lennon/plastic ono band version of "imagine" - john replaces the word "religion" in "imagine no religion" with the word "aborition". must have been network pressure or was he becoming super enlighted and taking the discussions before he was taken from us? i maintain that had he lived he would have not only joined the church but become a member of the quorum of the 12 and taken us all to the next level.
he awaits us in the celestial ed sullivan show in the sky.
peace on darling girl!
love,
dad
i love this blog thing you've done.
you must have some time on your hands?
we're at k & d's now...they are in costa rica so we are having all the floors ripped out and shag carpet installed to surprise them when they get home.
hey - check out on youtube the lennon/plastic ono band version of "imagine" - john replaces the word "religion" in "imagine no religion" with the word "aborition". must have been network pressure or was he becoming super enlighted and taking the discussions before he was taken from us? i maintain that had he lived he would have not only joined the church but become a member of the quorum of the 12 and taken us all to the next level.
he awaits us in the celestial ed sullivan show in the sky.
peace on darling girl!
love,
dad
my brother is a shamless, brazen hussy
so um... skyelr? where's that pic of you in the borat suit you promised me if i posted on here?
Saturday, May 26, 2007
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